Round 2

If you are reading this then you haven't given up on me!  Thank you.  When I told myself I would be taking the month of June OFF, I took the recommendation literally.  So here I am, one month later without uttering a single word on my blog.  So, thank you for checking back in! 

Before I start off with the monotony of what I have been up to these past weeks, lets start off with a recap of June events.  We were fortunate enough to spend a week with Ian’s family on splendid Lake Powell and I can’t think of a better place to relax.  The weather and water were certainly in our favor, so there was no excuse to not enjoy ourselves.  Ian blessed us with a Wake Surf for our anniversary present (I’m so spoiled, really) so we learned how to surf behind the boat.  We spent a lot of time relaxing on the upper deck reading, listening to music, jumping and sliding off and soaking up every cancerous UV ray available.  It was a much needed change of pace and a great way to start our summer. 

 

 (WOW, adding those pictures was difficult!  Any tips for moving them around?)

As a cap off to June, a grand finale in a sense, Ian and I drove to Utah for a Warfield family reunion!  It was a blast and I really enjoyed catching up with my cousins that are pretty well scattered; Pennsylvania, Missouri, Nevada, Arizona and Utah.  We hiked up Timpanogas Mountain and indulged ourselves in a guided tour of the cave system; we spent a day in Park City riding the various coasters/slides/zip lines; we stuffed our faces with Dutch Oven Chicken (heavenly) and various other homemade concoctions.   I am so grateful to my Aunt Karin for lighting the fire under our hineys and being a great host!  We got a final dose of fun and relaxation before our busy month of July. 

As soon as we got home, the IVF mountain we started to climb (once again).  I felt the weight of the injections, medications, travel and expense mounting and it brought a toll on my confidence.  I could hardly believe my feelings of doubt and insecurity which secondarily brought on a feeling a guilt.  Wasn't I supposed to feeling excited?  I really was a wreck the first week: crying at work (more than once), crying on the phone, crying to Ian.  I didn't recognize myself; this wasn't me.  I am usually able to look ahead to the reward and accept the challenge, but I felt I gave everything I had with the first cycle; my reserve was depleted.  

Thank heavens for my strong support system who gave me the strength to think positive and boosted my confidence for the winding road ahead.  So far, as long as I take it one day at a time (so cliche, but so true), I have been able to put one foot in front of the other and continue on my IVF path.  Quotes of inspiration in the early morning hours when I feel I can't face the day, help me to get out of bed and put my trials in perspective.  Two appointments down, both bringing good news with them, has also been an energy booster.  Two more to go before implantation, so send good thoughts and prayers into the universe, that this journey will be successful. 

"A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step."  I'm like Dory from Finding Nemo, "just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming, swimming, swimming."